A year in the upside-down

Well, not quite a year. So much has happened in the Gydleverse, and at the same time, so little. So very little writing here. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I took a part-time job and it pretty much drained me of any energy or desire to write.

Grief and loneliness are hard. I wasn’t expecting them down under, but here they were, waiting for me. They walked with me around Melbourne, sat with me in that soulless cubicle and in front of the TV as I self-medicated with Stranger Things, The Good Wife, A Place to Call Home, Victoria  …

Hello, grief. Hello, loneliness. Of course you’re here! My mother died. My cat, my friends, my children and my siblings are half a world away. Marc, bless his heart, is consumed with an exciting new job, and me? I’m upside-down.

Some day (soon, maybe) I’ll look back on this first year in Melbourne and be grateful for the lessons it has brought. I know more than ever the value of gratitude and appreciation, of a kind word, a welcoming gesture. My interviewing skills are better. I’ve done some great hiking (more on that soon). I think I have a better sense of what matters to me, what my deep down values are, and I have found the courage to put this into action.

If periods like these are invaluable for introspection and growth, I’m pushing seven feet right now. The view from up here is awesome.

The good thing about tunnels is that unlike caves, they always end. See! The sun is shining and a new vista awaits. Pedal to the metal!

So many metaphors! Gydle is back.

That’s all for now.

Eclipsed

August 21, 2017.

As I’m coming down from the bedroom at my uncle’s house, my attention is on my aunt in the kitchen below. My foot misses a step, and I tumble head over heels to the bottom of their wooden staircase. After a minute at the bottom, I make an assessment. Nothing’s broken – not my laptop, none of my bones. My ankle hurts, and I know I hit my head. I’m shaking, like I always do after a faceplant. Continue reading

Dispatch from Down Under

Facebook greeted me with this today:

Your friends haven’t heard from you in a while. Time to write a blog post.

Ouch. No arguing with that, is there? Welcome to the era of cyber-motivation.

My blogging apparatus is rusty in the extreme — hopefully my brain is still firing on all cylinders. I put the laptop on the glass-and-wicker table in the apartment we’re renting on the 16th floor of a downtown Melbourne high-rise, crack my knuckles and stretch out my arms. Continue reading

For the forests

Today an interesting thing came up in my Facebook feed: it’s the International Day of Forests. No kidding.

What a coincidence, I think to myself. Here I am, mulling over the idea of writing a blog post on something, anything, as long as it’s not depressing or political in nature, and my latest obsession comes and knocks at the door. Me! Write about Me! Continue reading

Life and loss

In my last post, I wrote about my despair at what is happening in the US. I thought that blogging every day might help me navigate it. I had good intentions.

That night I woke up in the wee hours (hello menopause) and looked at my phone. It was 4:30 and I had a text from my brother, who had gone to New Mexico just the day before, summoned by my father in a dream, to be at Mom’s bedside:

Mom … is resting in peace.  Continue reading

End times

Bleak.

That’s the only word I came up with today. Write something on your blog, Mary, I told myself. Maybe it will be therapeutic.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve become increasingly dependent on the Internet to soothe my restless mind. I lose myself in a labyrinth of interesting articles, the antics of friends from around the world, silly videos, TV series on Netflix. I quell my boredom and at the same time avoid doing anything of note, including blogging. Oh yes, I do emerge for yoga and some running, I do read actual books to the tune of one or two a week. But still. The rest of the time? Drugged. Continue reading

PCT day 21 – Cascade Locks

August 13
Miles hiked: 24.5
Total trip mileage: 406.9

In the wee hours of the morning, I peek out of our tiny tent window and see the departing backs of Monique, Bert and Todd. How do they manage to get up and out so early and so silently? (I later learn they eat their oatmeal cold). We get ourselves going as quietly as possible. During the night, another hiker has set his bivvy up in a tiny spot nearby. This is a record number of people in a single campsite for us. Continue reading

PCT Day 20 – Salvation Spring

August 12
Miles hiked: 21.7
Total trip mileage: 382.4

We wake up, pack our stuff and head down to the main lobby, where we’re greeted by several familiar faces. Bankshot, who we first saw at Shelter Cove and who was very friendly with us, is hanging out. We invite him to join us at our table. We also see the trio who left Ollalie Lake in the pre-dawn darkness: Monique, the kiwi, Bert, the Belgian and their American friend with the sasquatch beard, Todd. And many more who we haven’t yet met, all hungrily awaiting the opening of the buffet. Continue reading

PCT Day 19 – Mount Hood

August 11
Miles hiked: 24.8
Total Trip Mileage: 360.7

We wake up early today, eager to get on the trail and get to Timberline Lodge. A bed tonight! Dinner in a restaurant!

The green tunnel continues as we hike past Timothy Lake. We see the “designated” camping sites, and are glad we didn’t try to make it this far last night. At one point when crossing a road, we go under this lovely sign, which is a perfect photo-opp: Continue reading

PCT Day 18 – The Green Tunnel

August 10
Miles hiked: 27.5
Total Trip Mileage: 335.9

Somewhere in the pre-dawn darkness, the woman from New Zealand, the guy from Belgium and their US companion vanish into the mist. We never heard a thing. We get up as usual around 5:30. Okay, I lie, Marc gets up at 5:30 and brings me my tea …

Continue reading